Success is Subjective
What I find interesting about success is that, although very defined by the media, is opinion-based and very subjective. The only success that exists is your personal interpretation of it. So make sure you create a healthy well-balanced view of it based on your personal values and life situation. When you can confidently define what you see as your personal success, creating goals towards it occurs with more ease. This is because you can then achieve things in life based off of authentic purpose and not what you think you should be or do because of sensationalism. This is the type of motivation that fuels for the long haul! Below are ways that have helped me define my personal approach to success.
Motivation and Intensity
I believe there is a correlation between purpose and intensity. Knowing yourself will help you decide on the commitment and intensity of your goals. Asking the following questions is always helpful:
• What is important to me?
• Why do I want more?
• Am I doing this for myself or for someone else?
• What am I sacrificing?
• Is it worth it based off of what’s important to me?
Answering these questions can help you decide on a goal and the right size of the push you will commit to. It is wise to consider your personal bandwidth and outside commitments when asking yourself these questions. Conducting this process has helped me decide against commitments that sounded like a great idea but realistically were incompatible with my values and circumstances.
If anything close to the concept of external approval shows up as in answer to the above questions, this is a great opportunity to exercise increased SELF APPROVAL along the chosen journey. The more you rely on yourself for approval, the less you need it from others. When you exercise self-approval at the starting line just as much as when you attain a goal, you create a less exhausting and more fruitful goal crushing life. The journey to success can then be a playground versus a serious sentence of achievements.
Make Your Schedule, Don’t Let Your Schedule Make You
Be realistic about needed rest and be accepting about the time it may take you to achieve success. Pit stops are important! Success isn’t cramming things in at the cost of lost sleep, your health, or time spent with people in your life. Balance will ensure regret doesn’t have a chance to catch up with you. Now there may have been seasons in your life where a super intense grind is needed but ask yourself in this current moment, “is this truly fight or flight time? Or just habit?”
Taking Tension Out of the Picture
Common forms of tension are:
• Unnecessary urgency
• Comparison that creates a sense of not being or having enough
In order to reduce tension in the journey, it’s best to acknowledge the above culprits. When you catch yourself experiencing any of these forms of tension, remind yourself that these are negative ways to motivate yourself. My favorite form of tension to catch is urgency. To me, urgency was taking a timeline that is optional and turning it into an obligation, or treating it as law. This was SUPER unnecessary and drained my energy.
It’s funny how when we become negative critics of ourselves someone who loves us can tell us, “You are perfect.” They are telling us their version of perfect means enough. We are perfect just as we are. Let’s strive to use the word perfect to fuel self-acceptance versus bullying ourselves into the ground.
There you have it, my personal approach to success! I’m acquainted with my values. I know what I want. I honor patience, rest, and balance. I exercise self-approval each day. And most importantly, I no longer bully myself, but nurture myself towards what I perceive as success in my life. It’s a great place to be and that alone is my true personal success. Remember, if you are ever feeling discouraged or resentful towards goals and success, it’s not the goals that are the issue but most likely the approach. You are far more in control of your environment than you know. It starts within. Cheers to discovering your personal approach to success!
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